Why Should I Be a Magical Girl? I'm Overworked As It Is! — Chapter 23: Baby on Board

Carmen had just hidden behind an ice cream stand known for its flower-shaped scoops when she heard Maya’s warning.

“IT’S GOING FOR THE BABY!”

She ran.

The shops blurred past, the ground flying under her feet, and she was almost to the baby before her brain caught up with the rest of her.

Years of pulling double shifts, working herself to the bone, and for the first time since she’d joined the minimum-wage workforce, she was pain-free.

Her back didn’t hurt. Nor did her feet. She wasn’t even out of breath.

Shuli had said this was a perk. But Carmen hadn’t been able to picture it. She’d completely forgotten what it was like to feel so light.

A deep, furious voice boomed in her head.

FINALLY.

Carmen was mentally thrown off and nearly tripped in surprise.

“What in the—”

Great, she thought.

The extra voice in her head sounded like an old-school movie trailer narrator.

Do you have ANY idea how humiliating that freezer was? And the oven mitts! You put on OVEN MITTS to touch me. Do I look diseased?!

“Not now! I’m busy!” Carmen hissed, jamming the wand under her armpit.

You know you don’t have to say it out loud, right? People will think you’re yelling at the poor child.

Carmen ignored it and kept fumbling while unbuckling the baby. “Why are there so many straps?”

For safety, the wand said.

She could hear Maya shouting and Shuli too. Maya, who always helped Carmen however she could, even with this stupid chosen one bullshit, was still trying.

Maya, you absolute idiot, Carmen thought. You absolute, wonderful idiot.

She ripped the strap free and scooped the baby up, flinging herself away just as yellow teeth clacked shut on the air where she’d been.

Holding the wand defensively in front of her, Carmen watched the stroller break under the hamster’s chomps.

The baby grabbed Carmen’s pink hair and stared at her with big watery eyes. “Ah, ah.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” She barely felt the baby’s tugs, but she winced out of reflex.

Judging by the pink onesie, Carmen guessed it was a girl.

Carmen had cooked spaghetti noodles for arms, yet here she was, balancing the baby on one and the scepter wand in the other.

The hamster spat out the stroller parts it had bitten off. It glared at Carmen, then homed in on the baby.

“No,” Carmen said. “Find another snack! There’s literally an overpriced grocery store over there!”

The hamster charged again.

Carmen jumped back. “What are you, part bull?!”

She cleared a bench without meaning to, landing on the other side in a crouch with the baby giggling.

“Don’t laugh. This isn’t funny.”

The baby joyously laughed harder.

Okay! Now point me at it!

Carmen pointed the wand at the hamster, but nothing happened. She waved it up and down in disbelief. Nada.

“Are you broken?”

I am NOT broken. You have to mean it. Intent! Will the corruption off of it!

“What does that even mean?!”

The hamster came at them. Carmen scrambled backwards.

It means WANT it.

Carmen wanted a lot of things: a nap, a raise, a night at home in sweatpants, three chapters into a web novel with a green flag male lead who didn’t die and had a happy ending with a functional, healthy family.

But most of all, she really, really wanted this damn hamster to stop raging.

“GO BACK TO NORMAL!”

Pink light burst from the star tip. It sailed a full foot over the hamster’s head.

Close enough! Again!

Carmen re-concentrated her aim, willing the wand to shoot. The baby grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked. Her head jerked sideways, and the beam went with it, straight to a trash can, which sparkled with little fireworks.

“Stop that!”

The baby, being a baby, did not stop that.

The hamster was fast. Way too fast for something that size. Every time Carmen lined up a shot, it darted left, or right, or straight at her.

She gripped the baby tighter and carefully aimed one more time. She’d have to bail if this one failed.

The beam clipped the hamster’s side.

It squealed and skidded to a halt. It bit at its fur, as if it itched.

“Damn.”

You need the full beam to hit it.

“No shit.”

The wand gasped. You’re holding a baby.

The hamster sat back on its haunches. Its cheeks bulged. Then its front paws came up and pressed against them, squeezing.

Carmen squinted. “What is it… doing?”

Carmen. Run.

The first hamster fell out of its mouth with a wet plop. Then another. Followed by six more. Guinea pigs and hamsters poured out, spilling onto the pavement, slick with spit.

Actually, there are a few gerbils in there.

“Who cares! They’re all the same!”

Well, no. The differences—

They started to grow dog-sized.

You should run now.

Dozens of purple eyes turned toward her.

“…Oh, come on.”