Why Should I Be a Magical Girl? I'm Overworked As It Is! — Chapter 14: For the Reward

Shuli was doing her best impression of a normal cat. She rubbed herself on Maya’s leg and meowed cutely, as if putting on a play. Had it been anyone else, she’d have people fawning over her.

It wasn’t convincing Maya. Especially not after Carmen connected the dots for her.

Shuli started playing with her tail, going in circles, catching it, and bunny kicking it as if to prove: see, just a cat.

“She’s doing it on purpose,” Maya said, watching with narrowed eyes. “Carmen. This cat is a professional gaslighter.”

“She’s committed to making me look crazy,” Carmen answered, unimpressed, on her knees with a wad of wet paper towels scrubbing at the congealing vomit. “I honestly don’t get the secrecy. There are already monster incidents all over the internet. The secret’s out.”

Shuli backed up, bumped into the sofa, jumped on all fours and hissed at it for effect.

Carmen sat back on her heels. “With that A-list acting, I’m of the opinion she’s trying not to get fired.”

Carmen made sure there wasn’t a stain. She used the bed to help herself stand. Her back was killing her. Maya had offered to clean it, but Carmen insisted.

“Anyway.” Carmen tossed the soiled paper towels into the trashcan. “You wanted to see the wand. I’ll go get it. Let me just wash my hands.”

“Yes, please. Take your time.” Maya was now getting a cat stick with a feather tied onto the rope. She’d brought it with the snacks. She waved the toy, making Shuli run and hop around until she was out of breath, collapsing into a heap.

Shuli did not last long.

“See, that’s how Carmen feels 24/7. Imagine feeling that way constantly and having to do this to get food and housing. C’mon, lazy bum. Up we go. No? Okay, well now imagine having to fight monsters. Don’t want to, do you? See how mean and unrealistic it is.”

Shuli was sprawled on the floor panting. She was glaring at the wall, refusing to look at Maya.

Meanwhile, Carmen was in the kitchen washing her hands. She was enjoying watching Shuli get emotionally beaten at her own game. Carmen loved Maya. She really was an amazing friend.

Maya poked her softly with the stick. Even put the feather on her face. No movement.

“Wow. You’re out of shape. See. You can’t nag at Carmen when you can’t even muster up the motivation.”

Shuli used a paw to claw the feather, trapping her nail on it, refusing to let go. Every time Maya tugged, Shuli’s paw went up stuck to it.

Maya giggled. “Yes, yes. I know. You understand Carmen more now, don’t you? There, why don’t you rest. Isn’t that nice?”

Carmen rummaged around her kitchen drawers until she found her oven mitts. She put on the left one, despite being right-handed, and tossed the other to land near Maya. They were black, with white skulls.

“What’s that for?” Maya took the glove and put it on, admiring it. “I remember these! You got these on sale after Halloween.”

Carmen flexed her fingers in the mitt, practicing a grabbing motion. “Because I don’t know if the wand will do something when I hold it. And I don’t know if it’ll react to you. What if it’s like a legally binding contract? Hold the wand, be its owner kinda deal. I swatted it off my lap yesterday and nothing happened. I used both mitts to stash it. It glowed but I didn’t feel anything and Shuli was adamant about me touching it without the mitts. So, I think this is safe.”

“M’kay. Makes sense. You should be careful though, these are going to get covered with cat fur fast. You should put all black colored things somewhere safe. Fur haunts people for years.”

“I’ve noticed. Why do you think I’m wearing these?” Carmen motioned at her bunny pajamas. The cat hair wasn’t as evident because of the color.

“I thought you were finally coming over to the bright side. You said you stashed it? Where’d you put the wand?”

“In the freezer.”

Maya made a little ‘o’ with her mouth. “Why the freezer?”

Carmen opened her freezer and pushed aside her frozen meals, mitted hand going in towards the back. “I needed a place Shuli couldn’t float this thing out of or access.”

“She can make things float!? That’s so helpful!”

“You’d think so, right? If you can make things float, WHY watch me struggle to lug a heavy gallon of Weed-B-Gone during a fight? Couldn’t she have floated it right over? Her response was that it builds character. She followed that by saying she can only float the wand because it’s light. The jug was too heavy for her, it would drain her. Can you believe the nerve of this cat?”

Shuli pathetically meowed.

Maya frowned at Shuli. “Wouldn’t a drawer have sufficed?”

“This thing has feelings and I’m hoping it’s so insulted, it’ll give up on me. I put it in the trash, but Shuli keeps saving it.” Carmen pulled out the wand, holding it out at arm’s length. “Here.” Carmen held it toward Maya.

“Wow,” Maya said, taking the wand at last with her mitted hand. She turned it over, examining it. “It really is cheap looking, and light. Is this plastic?”

“Thank you,” Carmen said, going to the counter and digging out the chip bag from Maya’s bag.

“No offense,” Maya added, squinting at the yellow star on top. “Who designed this?” She aimed the question down at Shuli. “Is there, like, a magical wand catalog? A design team? Did somebody get paid for this? I bet I could do better.”

Shuli did not answer.

“She’s not answering because she knows it’s ugly,” Carmen said, trying to open the bag without alerting Maya to it.

An unmistakable rumble echoed in the small apartment and made both girls go quiet. They looked at Shuli, who was most definitely not acknowledging it in embarrassment.

Maya’s eyes lit up. She set the wand down and turned to go to her bag, only to find Carmen there, holding the chip bag, both hands on the top, slowly pulling the sealed plastic apart.

“No way. Banana. Then yogurt. Then juice. Then chips,” Maya said, walking towards Carmen. She swiped the chips and her bag. “You just woke up not too long ago. You need real food first.”

Carmen whined, “I ate an apple.”

Maya just gave her a look. Carmen took the banana and opened it like she was being denied her rights.

Maya sat near Shuli, putting the semi-opened chips into her bag, to continue guarding them from a sneaky Carmen. From her bag, she pulled out three pouches of different flavored cat treats, cans of pâté with gravy sauce, and a chicken filet with the words ‘Premier Cut’ on it.

She tantalizingly set them in front of Shuli, one by one. 

If cats could sweat, Carmen was fairly sure Shuli would be sweating buckets.

“Now,” Maya said. “You’re going to talk, and you’re going to get a reward.”

Shuli’s eyes locked onto the chicken filet and did not move from the floor.

Maya tore open the catnip chicken flavored treats. The smell hit the air. Shuli was up now, face zeroed in on it, pupils wide.

Carmen wasn’t surprised. She was sure Maya bought the fancy stuff and did her research. There was even a fancy cat on the front, elegantly posed with a gorgeous mane. It was a well-known international brand for people who could afford to spoil their pets.

Maya held a single treat between two fingers, dangling it an inch from Shuli’s nose.

Carmen chugged the yogurt drink. Watching for the moment that Shuli folded. This was entertaining to see. She knew it was only a matter of when, not if.

Shuli’s nose twitched. She reached out with a tentative paw. Maya pulled the treat back, out of range.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Maya sweetly smiled. “You’re going to talk. And you’re going to tell me everything. Including—” she leaned in, treat hovering “—why you’re so insistent on not leaving Carmen alone. The full truth. All the little details. Then you get the yummy chicken filet.”

Shuli’s ears drooped. She looked at the treat. She looked at Carmen, who was now working on downing the fruit juice. Carmen raised an eyebrow and said, “She already believes me over you. There’s no point.”

“Fine,” Shuli said, voice small and wobbly.

“I’ll tell you! But only because—”a beat, a breath, and then it came out all in a rush,”—because Carmen’s been starving me!”

Carmen choked on her juice, coughing up a storm. She beat her chest with her fist, hunched over.

“Carmen doesn’t feed me! She’s the mean one!” The words came out in a wail. “I have been begging for scraps on the street! Do you know what it’s like, picking through a dumpster behind a burger restaurant? The birds were laughing at me, the birds!” Shuli put her paw on her forehead. “Honestly, now I understand exactly what happened to that poor succulent. It’s a miracle I’m alive.”

Maya’s mouth flew open. Hearing Shuli talk left her completely stunned. She threw a handful of treats on the ground like she promised.

Shuli lunged face-first into the pile, making feral crunching noises, tail whipping back and forth.

Maya had teary eyes as she watched Shuli. “You’ve been starving her?”

“I have not—she eats! She eats constantly, she ate my leftovers the first night I met her, she’s had chicken, she’s had—”

“She just told me she’s been eating out of a dumpster.”

“She’s being dramatic! She’s a drama queen, she cried on cue for a treat! She’s a cat. Isn’t that what they do anyways?”

Shuli devoured the last treat, leaving wet patches of saliva. She asked Maya, “Please, may I have some more?”