Grief Will Drown You

“—I have it this time! I know what to do. Let’s go again.”

Drisana stands in the center of the training room floor, her back to me. She’s wearing her shark leather shoes and grey leggings with a wrap-around orange tunic. Her long hair is braided into two buns, her latest favorite hairstyle and most definitely Mallory’s influence.

Pacari, one of her tutors, is also in grey leggings and in an orange tunic. They’re not our colors, but we prefer it that way. It makes both of them easy to spot, especially when they have their swimming exercises around the inner grounds, allowing our guards to keep an eye on them, ready to move if Drisana is ever in trouble.

Pacari throws a rounded pebble without warning. A thin coating of water is wrapped around it, a safeguard to dull the hit in case Drisana’s shield fails.

Water forms quickly from the air, twisting around Drisana, condensing into a spherical shield.

It was the right call. Pacari had thrown two pebbles.

The first was a distraction. The second, smaller, was dropped behind Pacari’s back and skimmed along the ground out of sight, using the water to slide it over the tiles.

Had Drisana only shielded her front, she would have been hit between her shoulder blades.

“Good,” Pacari says, as the pebbles get caught in Drisana’s shield, one in the front and the second in the back. “You noticed and reacted accordingly.”

I can’t see her face, but I’m sure Drisana has a big grin.

The first pebble shoots back toward Pacari. She tilts her head just enough for it to miss, but the water coating the pebble peels away mid-flight, veering toward the side of her face.

Pacari ducks, and it splashes over her hair. She laughs. “What a cheeky little thing.”

The second pebble stays behind Drisana, stuck in her shield. 

Pacari eyes her. “The same trick won’t work again. I’ll be expecting it.”

Drisana simply says, “I know.” She snaps her wrist and the second pebble catapults forward along the curve, riding it to build momentum.

She sends it flying faster than the first.

I smile.

Pacari dodges to the left, then abruptly steps back when the pebble shoots to her side.

Drisana had used the same idea as before, but this time, instead of water shooting off of the pebble, she used the water to shoot the pebble sideways, keeping it coated with a protective layer in case it hit.

Unfortunately for Pacari, she moved exactly where Drisana wanted her.

“I told you it won’t—”

Pacari freezes as the first pebble taps her between the shoulder blades. It drops to the floor with a soft clack.

Drisana hadn’t abandoned the first pebble after Pacari dodged it. While the splash kept her attention, she’d wrapped it in water again. Then she guided it closer to Pacari, waiting for her moment.

“You hid the first one, using my assumption that it was no longer in play…”

Drisana rocks excitedly on her heels.

“…And used the second attack to keep me occupied while you moved it into position.”

Drisana’s shoulders are practically vibrating.

Pacari glances at where she’d dodged, then back at the pebble.

“You angled the second attack so that my best choice was to step to the left and then backwards, right into its range.”

“Uh-huh!”

A smile slowly spreads across Pacari’s face.

“Clever.”

“Seeeeee! I told you I’d get you!”

Pacari’s gaze meets mine.

It’s important for Drisana to learn how to identify the real threat, avoid tunnel vision, read misdirection, and counter with misdirection of her own.

Pacari is an excellent tutor.

I mouth, “Continue.”

Pacari claps her hands together and says, “Alright, that was very well done. Now, on to the next activity. Let's see if you've improved on reading currents.”

Drisana's shoulders drop half an inch. Pacari either doesn’t notice, or pretends not to. My bet is on the latter.

“Remember, when you’re swimming out in the open, you will come across them. You can use them to move faster or, when going up against an opponent, you can create them yourself. Disorientation can work for you or against you. Whoever loses their sense of direction first loses control of the fight. If your opponent spins you until you can’t tell up from down, you need to know how to reorient yourself.”

Pacari snaps her fingers and the window wards dissipate.

Water surges inward, overwhelming the space in seconds.

It doesn’t touch me.

A shimmering wall of magic stops the flood a few feet away.

There are layers of barriers strewn throughout the manor, runes carved into the foundation and walls, ready to activate or deactivate at a moment’s notice. The family training room, like all of our training rooms, was built for both worlds, air and water. The runes here keep the flood contained so it doesn’t reach the rest of the estate.

Even if something failed, the waterproofing spells prevent the water from damaging anything.

This entire estate can be submerged at my or Ambrose’s command.

We’d keyed Pacari’s magical signature into the wards here, allowing her to raise and lower them whenever she needs to during Drisana’s lessons.

I watch Drisana as she lets her shield collapse, unafraid of the water.

Black and silver scales flash as her legs merge and her tail forms. The runes woven into her training clothes react immediately to the transformation. Her shark-leather shoes and leggings dissolve with a strong flare of light as her legs disappear. The orange tunic contracts around her body, shortening at the hem, becoming skin-tight to reduce drag.

She isn’t doing any of it herself.

There are entire trades devoted to this kind of spell-work. Tailors and designers who specialize in transformation clothing spend years learning how to weave magic into fabric and hide runes within seams, embroidery, and clasps.

Drisana’s training clothes were made specifically for her.

Pacari rapidly shifts into her merform too.

This is the same transformation that gave non-magical humans on land their stories about mermaids and mermen. Water mages may exist on land, but a large majority of them never actually accomplish the transformation.

The legend started with ocean-mages who thought it would be funny to convince sailors that fish people existed.

The joke lasted longer than anyone expected.

They’d rather believe in the fantasy of the myth than accept the truth: it's just what happens when you raise  water mage children in saltwater instead of on land.

“Get from where you are to where I'm standing,” Pacari calls out, already drifting toward the far end of the flooded room. “Decide whether to fight them, ride them, redirect them, or move between them.”

Her voice is muffled as the sound waves travel through the water. I read her lips because I can’t hear her very well. 

Merform voices are modulated for underwater transmission. Outside of the water, it sounds faint and distorted, even getting completely lost in some cases.

Pacari creates fourteen artificial water currents, each spiraling at a different speed, crossing and looping back on themselves to make it look like there are twice as many.

The water around Drisana is a living maze, with her at its center.

Drisana scans the currents, turning her head back and forth, trying to get a read on which one to jump into.

She makes her decision and swims in at an angle, redirecting some of the water to help her break free and hop into another before it can drag her the wrong way.

She lets the current push her, before moving again. Her face is set in determination as she tries to figure out which ones will help her get to Pacari.

She’s going in and out, more and more confident. Getting closer, then farther, and even closer again.

Until she picks wrong.

The current catches her sideways, spinning her before she can brace, and whatever plan she had unravels in an instant. She tries to fight it, tail snapping hard, but it sends her tumbling head over tail through another current, and then another, before she can reorient.

Her small hands claw uselessly at the water. Her face screws into a pout, furious. I can tell she hates that she can’t undo it.

She’s still tumbling around when she finds me.

Her entire face lights up.

She tucks herself into a ball, and uses her power to redirect herself and launch into another current, unfolding and swimming with it instead of against it. She’s back at it. It takes her twenty minutes, but she finally gets to Pacari.

Leave it to Drisana to struggle, but suddenly find the motivation when she sees me.

Pacari says something to Drisana. They’re too far away now. The currents disappear, and Drisana swims straight to me, not stopping for the wall.

“Mama!” she exclaims, as she bursts out. The second her body leaves the water, she transforms back. Her control has gotten so good, I don’t even need to help her dry off anymore.

I open my arms and catch her. She’s getting taller. Soon, I won’t be able to catch her like this anymore.

“Thank you,” I say loudly, looking to Pacari, who gives me a thumbs up to show that she understood me.

“Did you see me? Did you see me? How long were you there?”

“I saw your pebble trick. I’m proud of you.”

Her eyes widen. She smiles proudly.

“I did very well.”

“You did.”

I set her down and say, “We’re spending the day together.”

“All day?”

“All day.”

She squeals, jumping around talking over herself about what else she needs to practice before her evaluation.

“We can work on that together. But first…” I motion to Pacari, who steps out from the flooded room, transforming into her human form again.

“Oh! Yes. I’ll help clean up the training room,” Drisana says sheepishly. She starts maneuvering the water back through the windows after Pacari reactivates them.

Pacari bows and says, “Duchess Nerissa. I’m happy to report that Lady Drisana has improved quite a bit since our last lesson. I’ll have a full report for you on your desk within the next few hours. I think she'll do well in her evaluation. She’s more advanced than what she’s going to be tested on.”

Drisana hums happily at that. “This morning, I also learned how to shape water into multiple spears. I hit all of my targets! Pacari made them move around so fast, and I still got them!”

I turn to Pacari. “I appreciate everything that you’re doing. Thank you again.”

Pacari smiles. “It’s enjoyable when your student is a hard worker.”

By now, Drisana has cleared half of the flooded room.

Pacari says, “I’ll finish up, thank you Drisana.”

Drisana beams and waves, “See you!”

She grabs my hand. I let her lead me back into the hall.

“Food first. We’ll be having lunch outside in the gardens. I’m sure you’ve had a long day. I don’t want you to crash later. At your age—”

“I know—my magic gets depleted faster!”

“After, we can train together if you’d like. Work on those things you mentioned, maybe even do some sword practice.”

She tilts her head back to look at me, eyes bright. “Do I really get you all to myself today?”

“Yes,” I say.

“Then I want to keep training! I really want to show off what I can do. Papa’s going to be so impressed when he sees me, I’m going to get the best marks ever! Maybe I’ll even beat his records from when he did them.”

The air leaves my lungs.

“He’ll be back by then, won’t he?” she asks, waiting for my answer.

I struggle to find the words.

“I’m sorry, he won’t be.”

She stops.

And turns back to look at me before smiling.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to show him when he gets back!”

I let her believe it, because I have no choice.